Every time you chase certainty, you create paralysis. Because certainty can’t be found in the future.
It took me decades of sitting with my stuckness to realize that every time I was stuck, I was actually just scared of the consequences.
A great decision isn’t one where you get what you want. It’s one where you stay who you want to be, no matter the result.
I find it best to make the decision by asking myself if I’ll be happy in ten years, no matter the outcome.
A litmus test I use: Am I deciding to be myself and follow what I want, or am I deciding to try to manage the future?
Because that is a strong indicator of whether I’m being true to myself.
If it’s the latter, I don’t take the action.
Notice
Falling into binary thinking around a decision signals that you’re operating from fear.
It’s an indicator that your system is overwhelmed and attempting to establish a sense of control. The antidote to this is wonder.
Binary thinking sounds like “Should I stay in this relationship?”
Wonder sounds like “What would I need to do to feel good about staying in this relationship?”
Watch
Big Love,
Joe
This really resonated with me. I’ve been noticing how often the mind wants to arrive at a conclusion,to know what something means, where I’m going, whether I’m doing the practice “right.” But sometimes the more interesting place is in not knowing and simply staying with what is actually unfolding.
In my own practice, I’m beginning to see that awareness doesn’t necessarily give us more certainty; it can make us more comfortable seeing things without immediately needing an answer. Perhaps there is a different kind of freedom in that. Thank you for this reflection.
I'm stealing this brother 😂 thanks 🙏🏻