There’s something you want to get done. Maybe it’s a work project. Maybe it’s a personal task. Maybe it’s writing a simple email.
Whatever it is, it’s on your to-do list, but you keep putting it off. Days or weeks go by, and you keep finding other things to do that feel more important.
So what’s behind this procrastination?
Conventional wisdom will tell you it’s a self-discipline or time-management issue. You’re told to “exert your willpower” and “use better systems.”
These may work for a while, but procrastination will inevitably take over again, because you haven’t addressed the root.
At its core, procrastination isn’t a lack of willpower. It’s trying to tell you something much deeper about yourself.
In other words, procrastination holds wisdom.
And if you start listening, it can change everything.
When You’re Out of Alignment, Everything Is Harder
When we procrastinate, we often end up bullying ourselves.
Take the thing you want to do. You might tell yourself that you need to do it or you should do it. As you keep putting it off, you think Why am I not doing this? Why can’t I just do the thing? You end up in this cycle of resistance, self-bullying, delaying, and more resistance.
What is really happening here is that, neurologically, you’re out of alignment.
The logical part of your brain is saying, Yeah, I need to do this thing, but the other parts—your emotional (heart) and nervous-system intelligence (gut) are out of sync.
Until you get all these parts of your brain aligned around doing the thing (meaning you emotionally and intellectually want to do it, and your nervous system wants to do it) you will keep procrastinating.
So the question is: what causes this misalignment?
Get Curious About What’s Not Working
When we look deeper, three reasons typically cause us to be in misalignment around the thing we keep procrastinating, and each of these holds deep wisdom:
#1: It’s not the right time.
#2: There’s a better way.
#3: You’re avoiding an emotion.
Let’s take a deeper look at these:
#1 It’s Not the Right Time
Intuitively, when you keep putting off doing something, you may be recognizing a pattern your logical brain can’t see. You may be intuitively sensing it’s not the right time.
Years ago, someone introduced me to a well-known CEO who wanted to work with me. My mind kept saying, This is a great opportunity. This is something you should do! But I couldn’t say yes. I was procrastinating saying yes. My intuition was telling me something.
A couple of years later, this person had a big public failure. I immediately reached out because I knew they’d have enough humility by then to admit they could be wrong. That meant the work we would do together would be more meaningful and effective. So, we started working together, and it was so much more rewarding than it would have been otherwise. The timing was right.
When you get an intuitive hit, you often can’t describe what you’re feeling. You just know.
If you’re procrastinating, it can be important to ask yourself: Is this the right time? Allow yourself to feel whether something is at play that might be asking you to wait, and be patient with that.
#2 There’s a better way
This one has a lot of wisdom in it: The way that you’re going about doing the thing might be ineffective. Conventional wisdom tells us we must do everything perfectly on the first try. But that desire for perfection gets in the way and leads to more procrastination.
One reason is that it takes away all the enjoyment. Nobody wants to have to nail perfection on the first go. That’s no fun. Also, it’s less effective because it robs you of healthy iteration, where you get to mess up, get better, be creative, and enjoy the process. The best products are the ones with versions one, two, three, and four. They’re constantly being iterated on and improving.
One person I was coaching struggled with this. He was trying to do too many things flawlessly the first time. So he kept putting it all off. As soon as he recognized this and realized his job was to let himself iterate, boom: He stopped procrastinating and got to work.
When you keep putting something off, ask yourself whether you’re aiming for perfection. Then allow yourself to iterate, be creative, have more fun, and enjoy the journey of doing the thing and making it better over time.
#3 You’re avoiding an emotion
This one is huge: When we keep putting something off, we may be avoiding the feeling it brings up.
I once worked with this technologist who’s done amazing things. She was offered a big job with a big title and salary, and she said no. She couldn’t bring herself to say yes, and she regretted it. As we worked together, she told me about why she turned down this huge opportunity. She realized she didn’t want to be responsible if she failed, so she chose to stay under the radar.
She was trying to avoid the feeling of failure and the feeling of not being good enough.
That emotional avoidance was keeping her from doing big things, like speaking her mind in meetings, advocating for what she knew was right, and saying yes to big opportunities. As we started doing work around that, she visualized the failures over and over and allowed herself to really feel all the emotions that came up. Then she visualized success and let herself feel all those emotions. She did that for several weeks, and her fear of failure went away.
The next time you’re procrastinating something, ask yourself: What emotion am I trying to avoid? What do I not want to feel? Maybe you’re worried about people’s judgment, failure, responsibility, feeling seen, or something else. Allow yourself to get curious about those emotions. Eventually, when you address that emotional reality, the procrastination will dissolve.
Unlocking the Wisdom
Procrastination is more than simply putting off a task. It’s a messenger that’s trying to tell you something about yourself.
Pay attention to it. Consider whether the timing is off, whether you are avoiding the process, or whether you are avoiding a feeling.
Allow yourself to feel it all, and even to be surprised by what arises.
Big love,
Joe
“She realized she didn’t want to be responsible if she failed, so she chose to stay under the radar.” Hitting me like a ton of bricks this morning. Thank you.
this was exactly what i needed to read today as i’ve been procrastinating signing with a social media agency to do face-to-camera reels. thank u.